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In My Arms Only

Lydia nursing her baby boyLydia Cordova

It didn’t happen overnight
Although,
I admit,
So many times I wish it had.
But no
You would not,
Could not fall asleep without being in my arms.

But the dishes need to be done.
But I need to dust.
I have piles of laundry to wash.
But other babies fall asleep on their own.
Why won’t you?

I don’t know why
And now, I don’t care.
The dishes can wait.
The dust can collect.
And the laundry can pile.

You, my little boy, will only be little for so long.
You will only want the comfort of my embrace
For so long.
You will only want to nurse while you dream
For so long,
Before you will sleep on your own.
You will no longer nurse.
And my soft sung lullabies will no longer be necessary for you to fall asleep.

Naysayers,
My house is not as tidy as I wish,
But my baby is growing and my heart is breaking.
Soon I will have a tidy house but
Empty arms.
So for now I cuddle and nurse my sweet baby at every nap.
And at every bedtime.
I’m just sorry it took me this long to not care about your opinion and care more about what my baby needed.

Me. He needs just me. His mama.


Please send your story ideas to Amy at nbeditor@lllusa.org.


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